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Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
 
 
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
 
 
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To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
 
 
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No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
 
 
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The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
 
 
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Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
 
 
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Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
 
 
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
 
 
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The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
 
 
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But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
 
 
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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
 
 
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
 
 
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For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
 
 
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ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
 
 
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If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
 
 
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
 
 
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It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
 
 
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The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
 
 
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He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
 
 


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