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The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
 
 
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The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
 
 
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The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
 
 
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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
 
 
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The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
 
 
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I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
 
 
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Whether you\\\'re celebrating a birthday, wedding, graduation or the arrival of a baby, asking your friends and family members to sign a guestbook will help you remember your special day long after it\\\'s over.
 
 
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A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
 
 
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Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
 
 
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
 
 
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To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
 
 
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No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
 
 
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The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
 
 
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Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
 
 
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Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
 
 
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
 
 
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The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
 
 
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But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
 
 
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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
 
 
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
 
 


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